Discovering and Living Your Values: A Guide to a More Meaningful Life

Taking the time to reflect on and choose your values is one of the most impactful things you can do for your well-being and personal growth. Research shows that even a few moments of thoughtful reflection on your values can bring remarkable benefits, such as:

  • Better stress management: Thinking about your values reduces cortisol levels in stressful situations.
  • Increased motivation: Activities aligned with your values feel more meaningful and energizing.
  • Enhanced performance: Studies link values reflection to improved outcomes, such as higher grades or work achievements.
  • Greater happiness and well-being: Living in alignment with your values fosters a deeper sense of fulfillment.
  • Openness to others: Reflecting on values reduces defensiveness and promotes acceptance of differing viewpoints.
  • Stronger connections: Feeling grounded in your values helps you build meaningful relationships.

What Are Values, and Why Do They Matter?

Values are not just abstract concepts; they’re the guiding principles that shape your actions and give your life direction. As psychologist Dr. Steven Hayes puts it, values are the “intentional qualities of action that join together a string of moments into a meaningful path.”

Examples of values include curiosity, kindness, courage, compassion, and generosity. These qualities influence how you show up in various aspects of your life, from your relationships to your career. When you’re clear on your values, you gain a sense of purpose and clarity. They act as a compass, helping you make decisions that align with the person you aspire to be.

How to Choose Your Values

Here’s a step-by-step guide to discovering your core values:

Reflect on the qualities you admire

Imagine your closest friends describing you to someone new. What words would you hope they use? Are you known for being compassionate, determined,or curious? For example, you might aspire for people to say:

“She is incredibly kind and wise, always curious about the world, and deeply committed to helping others. She cherishes simple joys like a good book, meaningful conversations, and time with loved ones.”

Consider different areas of your life

Break down your life into categories like work, relationships, self-care, and community. Ask yourself:

  • How do I want to show up at work?
  • What qualities do I want to express in my relationships?
  • How do I want to care for my physical and mental health?

Experiment and refine

If you’re unsure where to start, explore values lists or tools like the VIA Character Strengths Test. Choose a few that resonate, and try “living” them in small ways. Over time, you can refine your list as you gain clarity.

Align your actions with your values

Once you’ve identified your values, look for opportunities to express them daily. For example:

  • If you value kindness, make a habit of small acts of generosity, like complimenting a colleague or helping a neighbor.
  • If you value curiosity, dedicate time to learning something new or asking thoughtful questions in conversations.

Why Living by Your Values Matters

Living according to your values is not about perfection but about intention. When your actions align with your values, you experience a sense of authenticity and fulfillment. Conversely, when you stray from your values, you might feel disconnected or dissatisfied.

For example, if you value integrity but find yourself compromising your principles at work, it can lead to inner conflict. By staying true to your values, you build a life that feels meaningful and congruent with who you truly are.

Final Thoughts

Choosing your values is an ongoing journey, not a one-time decision. Be patient with yourself as you explore and refine what truly matters to you. Remember, it’s okay if your values evolve over time—what’s important is staying intentional and reflective.

Start small: take a few moments today to write down the qualities you admire most in others or the person you aspire to be. From there, look for ways to embody those values in your everyday life.

By anchoring your actions in your values, you’ll create a life that feels both purposeful and deeply fulfilling.

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The Guilt of Prioritizing Us First – Why It’s So Hard to Put Ourselves First

Let’s talk about guilt. That unwelcome visitor that shows up uninvited whenever we dare to prioritize ourselves. You know the feeling: that gnawing sense that taking a long bath while your partner tackles the dishes, or saying “no” to a friend’s request because you’re burnt out, makes you a selfish monster.

We’ve all been there. Society often paints self-care with a villainous brush, whispering that prioritizing our needs is somehow a betrayal of those around us. But here’s the truth bomb: feeling guilty for putting yourself first is a recipe for burnout and resentment.

So, why is this guilt trip so ingrained in our psyches? Let’s unpack the reasons why prioritizing “us” can feel like a sin:

1. The Glorification of the Selfless Martyr

Think back to childhood stories. How many times did the selfless hero, sacrificing everything for others, win the day? We’re conditioned to believe that true strength lies in self-denial. But here’s the plot twist: a person running on fumes can’t effectively help anyone.

2. The “Should” Monster

Society bombards us with “shoulds”: “You should help your neighbor,” “You should always put your family first,” and “You should never say no.” These external pressures create a constant internal conflict, making us feel like failures if we prioritize our own well-being.

3. The Fear of Disappointing Others

Saying no can feel like a social grenade toss. We worry about hurting feelings or being seen as unreliable. But here’s the secret: healthy relationships thrive on open communication. When we prioritize ourselves and set boundaries, it fosters trust and respect in the long run.

4. The “Me Time” Myth

The idea of “me time” often gets a bad rap, conjuring images of bubble baths and face masks (which, don’t get me wrong, are awesome!). But self-care is much broader. It’s about honoring your mental, physical, and emotional needs. It could be a quiet walk in nature, reading a book, or simply saying no to things that drain your energy.

5. The Comparison Trap

Social media doesn’t help. We’re bombarded with images of people seemingly having it all together – the perfect family, the thriving career, and an endless supply of “me time.” But remember, social media is a highlight reel, not reality. Comparing our behind-the-scenes struggles to someone else’s curated perfection is a recipe for guilt and self-doubt.

Mental Health Awareness Month

So, How Do We Break Free From the Guilt Cycle?

Here’s the good news: you can reframe your thinking and prioritize your well-being without feeling like a jerk. Here are some battle plans to combat the guilt monster:

1. Redefine Self-Care:

Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. It’s the oxygen mask on the airplane – you have to put yours on first before you can help others. When you prioritize your well-being, you become a better partner, friend, parent, or employee.

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2. Set Boundaries – With Kindness:

Learn to say no politely but firmly. Remember, boundaries are not walls; they’re healthy communication tools that let others know your limits. Explain your needs and offer alternative solutions if possible.

3. Practice Self-Compassion:

Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend. Recognize that prioritizing yourself is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength and self-respect.

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How to manage strong emotions during distress

4. Celebrate Small Wins:

Start small. Did you manage to squeeze in a 10-minute meditation this morning? Celebrate! Acknowledge your efforts to prioritize yourself, no matter how insignificant they seem.

5. Find Your Tribe:

Surround yourself with people who understand and support your need for self-care. Look for friends and family who prioritize their well-being, too.

Remember, prioritizing yourself isn’t about neglecting others; it’s about creating a sustainable and fulfilling life. It’s about showing up as the best version of yourself for yourself and the people you love. So, the next time the guilt trip tries to book a ticket, politely refuse service. You deserve to take care of yourself guilt-free. And hey, if that bubble bath and face mask are calling your name, go for it! You earned it. Struggling to silence the guilt trip when you prioritize self-care? Our therapists at Cedarway Therapy can help you rewrite the script on self-worth. Together, we’ll break free from the “shoulds” and build healthy boundaries, leaving you feeling empowered and ready to show up for yourself – and those you love – in a whole new way. Contact Cedarway Therapy today and take the first step towards guilt-free self-care.

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The Importance of Mental Health Awareness Month and How to Continue Conversations Beyond

Mental Health Awareness Month is not just a passing observance; it’s a vital reminder of the ongoing need to prioritize mental well-being. In a world that often puts more emphasis on physical health, this month serves as a beacon, urging us to turn our attention inward and take stock of our mental and emotional states. But the question remains: How do we carry this awareness forward beyond just one month? Let’s dive into “The Importance of Mental Health Awareness Month and How to Continue to Conversations Beyond.”

Why Mental Health Awareness Month Rocks

Think of Mental Health Awareness Month as a giant spotlight. It shines brightly on an issue that often gets swept under the rug. Here’s what this spotlight does:

  • Breaks the Stigma: Talking openly about mental health challenges helps chip away at the negative stereotypes. It shows everyone that struggles are normal, human experiences, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
  • Educates the Masses: This month throws mental health vocabulary around like “anxiety,” “depression,” and “self-care.” The more we hear these terms, the more comfortable we get understanding them and recognizing the signs in ourselves and others.
  • Empowers Individuals: Awareness creates a safe space for people to share their stories, ask for help, and access resources. It lets them know they’re not alone and that there’s a whole community out there cheering them on.

But Wait, There’s More!

Mental Health Awareness Month is a fantastic springboard, but what happens when June rolls in? Here’s why keeping the conversation going is crucial:

  • Mental Health is a Spectrum: It’s not just about diagnosed illnesses. Everyone experiences emotional ups and downs, stress, and challenges. Open communication year-round equips us to manage these everyday mental hurdles effectively.
  • Prevention is Key: Just like physical health, early intervention in mental health concerns can make a world of difference. By keeping the conversation flowing, we can normalize seeking help before things escalate.
  • Building a Support System: Imagine a world where mental health check-ins are as common as asking, “How’s the weather?” Regular conversations about our emotional well-being foster a culture of support where people feel comfortable reaching out when they need a hand.

So, How Do We Keep the Conversation Going?

Let’s be honest, forcing mental health chats can feel awkward. But here are some easy, natural ways to make it a part of your everyday life:

  • Be a Good Listener: Lend a supportive ear to friends and family who might be struggling. Let them know you’re there without judgment and offer resources if needed.
  • Normalize the Conversation: Don’t shy away from talking about your own mental health experiences, good or bad. Sharing your story can inspire others to do the same, fostering a sense of connection.
  • Educate Yourself and Others: There’s a wealth of reliable information at your fingertips. Explore websites from reputable mental health organizations, read articles, or watch documentaries. The more you know, the more you can share!

Read more about “Getting Ready for Spring the Mental Health Edition” on our blog page today!

Beyond Words: Actions Speak Volumes

Let’s face it, talk is cheap. Here are some ways to translate your newfound awareness into concrete action:

  • Challenge the Stigma: If you hear someone making negative comments about mental health, politely correct them or share your own positive experiences.
  • Support Mental Health Organizations: Donate your time or resources to organizations that provide mental health services, education, and advocacy.
  • Be Kind: A simple act of kindness can go a long way. Offer to help a stressed-out colleague, check in on a neighbor who seems down, or simply be a patient and understanding friend.

If you need professionals to help you with your mental health needs, just give Cedarway Therapy a call today. Contact our Psychologist Oakville experts now!

Remember, You’re Not Alone

Mental health challenges affect millions of people around the world, regardless of age, background, or circumstance. By fostering open conversations and taking action, we can create a world where everyone feels supported, empowered, and equipped to navigate the ups and downs of life.

Let’s turn Mental Health Awareness Month into a year-round movement. Together, we can build a world where mental well-being is embraced, celebrated, and supported. Because, after all, a healthy mind is a happy mind, and that’s something worth fighting for – every single day.

Experience a new level of mental wellness with Cedarway Therapy. Our Psychologist Oakville expert offers personalized and compassionate care tailored to your unique needs. Take the first step towards a brighter tomorrow by scheduling a session with us today. Let us guide you on a journey of self-discovery and growth, where your mental health takes center stage. Join us at Cedarway Therapy and embark on a path to a happier, healthier you. Call us now!

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